!~I My Me Mine~!

So its going under read more
Also i doubt anyone will bother reading anyway so why ruin your dash

So basically, i just got yelled at for crying.
I was cooking lunch for my brother and i (and also our mum who isnt home from work yet) and i was asking questions about whether i should put all 3 garlic breads in and such and he was just getting really narky.

And then my dad walks into the kitchen and i asked ‘didnt you have an appointment today?’ and he says ‘yes, after i pick your mum up’
And i was like, ‘oh, mum said she doesnt know whether youre picking her up or shes getting the bus’ and he was pissed off saying that he’d told he this morning that he was picking her up, and also last night.
But i havent seen or spoken to mum since last night, so i was going off what was last said to me.

And then he comes back to the kitchen and is like ‘im not narky at you’
But im like ‘doesnt matter, seems everyone is today’
Cos of course my brother has also been getting narky.

So he’s ‘whats he done?’ and starts getting  all angry at my brother and yelling and stuff, and i started crying because wtf, im just trying to make conversation and ask questions and im just getting yelled at, and i never asked my dad to get involved in the situation with my brother either.

And they both storm off and dad says to me ‘you need to grow up im sick of both of you’

And i just think thats hardly fair


I just feel like everyone in this family takes all their stress and anger out on me, and thats just not fair.
I cant talk to anyone in this house about my problems.
Like seriously, i’m not exactly in the best of health right now - i have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning - and its really stressful because whatever is causing me to ‘faint’ or ‘collapse’ might cost me my job, and although we seem to think its migraines (because i get fucking loads of them) theres no guarantee the doctor will give me medication.
And then if i lose my job? More yelling about how i should be getting a full time job.
But who would hire someone who could collapse if they get a migraine? 
I started working at 14. At this age all my other friends still got pocket money from their parents, i was the only one who worked.
I never complained about it. I worked hard for my money, and i still do.
But i did miss out on lots of time of just being a young teenage having fun.
And i live in a village and my best friend at the time never wanted to come out because she was tired. I had no one to play with - my brother certainly never wanted to play with me, he wouldnt even talk to me most of the time.
So now i actually get a few days off a week every gets angry at me.

Also im totally stressed about my future. Ive said i want to teach English abroad, and im looking at China, and i also want to do some volunteering in China with the Pandas near Xi’an.
But no one takes me seriously or listens to me about anything. No one helps me try and sort stuff out.

My dad looks at KPOP and then says ‘gay boys’ but later says ‘i have nothing against gay people, i dont like calling people gay or bent’, WTF!?

He’s so rude! The only time i have ever heard him say he is proud of me is when he’s drunk. When he’s drunk he talks to people about how i can speak other languages and that he’s so proud of me for that. But every other time all its ever been is ‘those gay boys’ and he thinks that my love of Asia is really stupid. He doesnt take an interest in it - but he’ll stand around talking to me brother about cars all the time.


Everyone just talks over me and ignores me and im so sick of it.
I just want out of this house because its not fair that everyone take all their shit out on me.

Why cant someone care about me for once?
Just once?


Please